Cigarette
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at
one end & a fool at the
other end.
Love affairs
Something like cricket where one-day
internationals are more popular
than a five day test.
Marriage
It's an agreement in which a man loses his
bachelor degree and a woman
gains her master degree.
Divorce
Future tense of marriage
Lecture
An art of transferring information from the
notes of the lecturer to
the notes of the students without passing through
"the minds of either".
Conference
The confusion of one man multiplied by the
number present.
Compromise
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got
the biggest piece.
Tears
The hydraulic force by which masculine
will-power is defeated by
feminine water-power ..
Dictionary
A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Conference Room
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
& everybody disagrees
later on.
Ecstasy
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a
feeling you have never
felt before.
Classic
A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile
A curve that can set a lot of things straight
Office
A place where you can relax after your strenuous
home life.
Yawn
The only time some married men ever get to open
their mouth.
Etc...
A sign to make others believe that you know more
than you actually do.
Committee
Individuals who can do nothing individually and
sit to decide that
nothing can be done together.
Experience
The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb
An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher
A fool who torments himself during life, to be
spoken of when dead.
Diplomat
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a
way that you actually
look forward to the trip.
Opportunist
A person who starts taking bath if he
accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower
says in midway "See I am
not injured yet."
Pessimist
A person who says that O is the last letter in
ZERO, Instead of the
first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
Miser
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father
A banker provided by nature.
Criminal
A guy no different from the rest... except that
he got caught.
Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late
when you are early.
Politician
One who shakes your hand before elections and
your Confidence after.
bravenet.com